Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
