I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
