i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
