I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
