think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize