i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
