I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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