then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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