she looked like the bat from fern gully.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
