RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
