I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
