My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Panties = found
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
