u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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