I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
