when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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