you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
