My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
