haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
