she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
