i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
