batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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