Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
