JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize