Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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