i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
did you just send me my own nude
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
