Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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