I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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