Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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