K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
