I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
