Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
