the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
