when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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