cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
