Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
