Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
