Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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