My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize