wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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