What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
