i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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