He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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