Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
