don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
