writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
