You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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