you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
