and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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