He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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