How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
