He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
