just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
