I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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