I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
