Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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