Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
