North Korea, Best Korea!
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We need to get me chipped asap
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
