The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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