I think I died a long time ago.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
