i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
