I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
