that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
we made out on top of his cat.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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