"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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