i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
