There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
