Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
