ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
